Love VS Hatred

Assalamualaikum...

Uh-huh

It's complicated, isn't it? Having a long-distance relationship..I know it's hard, especially when it comes to believing something...and expecting...

I hate it when I realized I'm good at waiting....almost all the time, it ended in vain..

I didn't know that waiting is something unbearably painful..it costs me nothing but disappointment...

I've waited almost every second..but why didn't he notice that?

But then I made a mistake..I threw my anger towards him...We had a fight...I couldn't control the madness that possessed me..I was so enraged that I threw harsh words on him...

Yes..he did try to coax me and cool me down...

But soon after, I realized everything was pointless...he got tired and ignored me...

He walked away...already chose his way...I'm no longer part of it..

......................................................................

You know what...it's hard for me to tell everything...spoken or even written...it's not easy to actually revealed the whole story to those who eager to know...

Coz only God knows what is in my heart...what burden it conveys...only He knows how to cure the heart..for He has the remedy for every sorrows...

You have no idea how difficult it is to fake the smiles...TO PRETEND THAT I"M OKAY...

I admit it, I was wrong...I wasn't being comprehending...I was hoping for more...expecting something he couldn't fulfill...all the time....the skepticism always dig the way...uh-huh

I always questioned myself..why must there be hatred??isn't love more powerful???more desirable???

Everything was torn apart...only for unreasonable and exaggerated reason...

"Does 'hatred' really grew bigger in your??"

Uh-huh....what can I say...I do keep my ego....very fragile ego...yours is a lot harder...like a stone...

:'(

I believed now that you already moved on....me? It's okay..I'll catch up with you later....on my own way...but as long as the heart still holds the love, I'll always wait for you...even from afar...even I knew that you would never ever take a chance to look back...

Love and hatred..both are interconnected..coz when you're done with love, you'll start to hate...hate is a journey to forget...and when you succeed to move on, you'll begin to...NEVER KNOW EACH OTHER..

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Dear you...Sorry for everything...

Assalamualaikum there...how're ya doin?

Me? I'm good...

Well....sorry for pushing you lately..uh-huh

It was just...I wanted you to always be there to me...accompany me...coz I needed you all the time...but you're far from me...away...at a place I can't reach...

We can only reach each other through phone calls and yahoo messenger..

I just so used with you around...

But when you're there...I pushed you to contact me..every single time...but since it's difficult to do so due to line factor, I burst out my anger towards you..

I refused to listen to every explanations..

Overpowered by uncontrolled emotions, I threw harsh words on you..but you didn't reply anything worst..

Amazed by your calmness, I regret every words I threw upon everything...I gave up to my true feelings...Don't want to further any arguments..coz I know I'm not supposed to blame you...it's not your fault...but mine..

I didn't give you any space to fit in into two different environment....

Sorry for wanting too much from you...sorry for expecting something you can't bear...

I'd be soo happy if you forgive me...with all your heart....

You know my heart better than anybody else..

Dear you...sorry for everything...

"Ahwak....Watmanna law ansak...wansa ruh hiwayak.."

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Bila masih memendam perasaan..

Assalamualaikum wbt..

Kadang2 apa yg bmain dlm hati, apa yg dirasakan, terasa benar nak luah dgn semua org..

Sedih, excited, happy, geram,, dll...

Tapi hanya mampu pendam dlm hati je..

hmm

Tak pe la...

Allah lebih mengetahui isi hati ni..

Masih memendam perasaan? Biarlah perasaan itu ku leburkan kerana bagiku tak layak untukku memendamnya sedangkan tiada restu dr Ilahi untukku..(nour, 2012)



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Heal My Heart in This Holy Ramadhan

Assalamualaikum wbt...

Selama ni tak sedar yg hati semakin lama semakin berpenyakit...(penyakit hati)

Cepat marah, cepat berprasangka, cepat iri hati, cepat cemburu, dn semua la...-___-

Kerana hati yg rosak ni lah juga, sy...

Semakin jauh dgn Tuhan...

Dan hilang seorang teman yg sangat istimewa...

O Allah...it hurts so much...knowing that everything I wanted is far beyond my grab..

I'm heedless...full of foolishness and ignorance..

I've made so many mistakes..

I dream a lot that makes me a daydreamer..

I've ruined everything for the sake of answering my own anxiety...which is actually a preconception..far off my wise thinking..

I've hurt somebody with my words..

I crushed somebody's hope..

I couldn't say more...

I'm not a good person..but I tried to the hardest of becoming a good one..may it not be for other's sake, but for Allah....and for myself...

My heart still hurt..badly hurt..for I'm the one who hurt it..

But...

I've learned that every mistakes I've made is to teach me how to behave and how to adapt myself all through many obstacles...

I've learned that when I take a few steps to approach Him, my heart is at peace..

He knows everything inside this fragile heart..

O Allah...may this holy Shahra give me peaceful and may this heart heals from sadness and 'ailment'..

Guide me O Allah...towards becoming a tougher person, and a better one..

Don't let me fall for things that are worthless for me..

Don't let me reminisce back the past that brought nothing but miserable to me..

And don't let me keep a 'black hole' inside of me that would swallow all the good things that come..

Forgive my sins O Allah...

For my beloved parents, sister, granny and other family, please forgive all my mistakes...

and for kawans, sahabats and Teman, tolong maafkan diri ini yg dah selalu menyakiti perasaan kalian..from the bottom of my heart, please forgive me..

Marilah sama2 merasai ketenangan di bulan Ramadhan ini...sama2 memperbaiki diri...sama2 menyembuhkan penyakit hati... InsyaAllah, kita akan menjadi insan yg lebih baik...semoga menjadi hamba yg dekat di sisi-Nya..

Allahumma amienn...

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Hanya Allah yg tahu

Assalamualaikum selamat malam pembaca sekalian..
Harini terasa nak share tentang satu hakikat,,
Hakikat apa? Hakikat suara hati,,,,

Dulu aku ada diari,, Dibelikan diari yg berkunci, dan yg berkod,,

Ku tulis luahan hati kt dalam tu,, kemudian kunci,,expect tak ada yg akan baca,,

.........tp mak buka...dan baca........

Lepas mak baca, mak berleter,,,mak usik,,

Lama2.............aku tak percaya diari lagi..sebab diari tak boleh simpan suara hati,,

Lepas tu aku luah dgn kawan,,dgn sahabat,,

Luahan hati yg gembira,,sedih,,marah,,

Tiba2 kawan pergi,,

Rupa2nya masuk telinga kiri keluar telinga kiri juga,,

(Luahan kita taknak didengar/tak dipeduli,,tp luahan diorg,,,,,,,nak kita ambil perhatian sepenuhnya..)

Kadang2 luahan yg sepatutnya jd rahsia bukan rahsia lg..

Malah turut dijadikan point utk di'condemn..

Lepas tu bila kenal dgn 'seseorang', aku selalu luah suara hati dgnnya..

Tak kira yg gembira, sedih mahupun marah..

Tapi bila antara kami ada pertelingkahan, 'dia' terus tinggalkan ku..

Sehinggakan dalam hari2 yg sukar 'dia' tak ada utk menyokong ku..

Sedangkan 'dia' telah berjanji utk membantu ku, berada bersama ku susah mahupun senang..

Tak kira bagaimana ku luahkan suara hati, akhirnya aku sendiri yg kena melaluinya...

Tak ada sesiapa yg dapat bantu, tak akan ada apa2 yg dapat sembunyikan bila ku luahkan, tak ada sesiapa dapat berikan 'ubat' utk hati bila hati menyuarakan rasa sedihnya, tak ada sesiapa yg sudi berkongsi kesenangan bila hati menyuarakan kegembiraannya,, tak ada sesiapa....

Kemudian.... di situlah aku kembali.... di tikar sejadah itu.....

Sedar yg Maha Mendengar itu sedang menanti utk terima luahan hati ini....

Sentiasa membuka pintu kebahagiaan utk diri ini yg sangat memerlukan ketenangan hati...

Kenapa sering kali diri ini alpa....

Ya Allah.... Hanya Engkau yg tahu apa yg ada dalam hati ini.....

Hanya Engkau yg tahu ubatnya....

Hanya Engkau yg boleh memberi kelapangan padanya.....

Ya Allah janganlah Engkau tinggalkan diri ini...

:(

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Di sebalik senyuman..

Assalamualaikum,,

Uhh harini tak mampu nak rasa tenang..

Ketawa tapi dalam hati sgt sedih,,

Cliche sgt post kalini kan..

Biasalah..

Manusia setiap hari pasti ada shj dilanda masalah..

Tak kisahlah masalah kewangan, perhubungan, keluarga, or kesihatan etc...pasti akn mendatangkan kesedihan..

Tapi,,bagi sy masalah yg paling menyentuh adlh yg bersangkutan dgn perasaan..sbb ia melibatkan hati...hati kan fragile..tak boleh di'sentuh' skit..cepat 'cedera'..

Kalau sebut ttg 'Hati', mst bkait rapat dgn Cinta kn.. (ayat power) .........yeah,,mcm tu lah..

#Love before marriage..#

Sbb tuuuulah Islam tak menggalakkn bercinta sebelum kahwin...tkut nti terlebih2; sayang lebih, prihatin lebih,,lama2 ke 'situ' pula lebihnya...kn..kn..kn..maksiat dah namanya...

Lepas tu nanti, bila gaduh, salah faham dll, dah brok break..tukar status kt fb..dr 'In a relationship' ke DIVORCE!(terlebih sudaa!)

Bukan tu shj, kecewa pun bagai nak rak,,,sebab apa?? sebab kita dah terlalu sayang..perasaan kita tu kita asuh/manjakan/turuti sampai perasaan pun dikawal oleh nafsu, bukan akal..so, bila tak kesampaian hasrat hati, kecewa melambung tinggi..menangis bengkak2 mata (haha)..

That's why la ada satu quote mengatakan... "Jangan terlalu benci,,Jangan terlalu sayang,,Bila terlalu benci jadi sayang,,Bila terlalu sayang jadi benci."

Ajaran Islam lebih baik...Bercinta sesudah kahwin..haa...masa tu baru betul2 rasa apa ertinya Cinta..

Kalau benar cinta, takkan ada yg tersakiti..aice

Sebab??? Sebab ape nak risau lg masa tu.. Allah dah jamin kebahagiaan di dunia dan akhirat...utk suami isteri yg saling mencintai kerana-Nya..

Kalau yg belom kahwin tu..bercinta kerana apa?? aha! You know the answer..

So, bersedia shj lah..utk berhadapan dgn mcm2 dugaan..

Keterlukaan akan menjadi sesuatu yg lumrah bila cinta masih belum menjadi halal..

Apa2pun, don't show to others your murkiness...keep on smiling though it's a fake one..who knows the fake smile would've been a cure for your depression..

Berdoalah...semoga hati diperkuatkan,,diberi kesabaran yg tinggi,,diberi ketinggian iman,,serta rasa redha..pasti apa yg berlaku ada hikmahnya..

"Allah beri setiap ujian agar kamu tahu bila utk kembali kepada-Nya"

#nak senyum skit..ahaa! ^____^ ikhlas taw!

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